Site Meter Home Computer Talk » Blog Archive » Those you call for Help…

Those you call for Help…

by

…sometimes have to go through more than they can deal with.

Mr JM says he has had clients who personify this sort of basic commonsense.

From the Internet…helpdeskguy.jpgThis is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say, the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for ”Termination without Cause.” This is the actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee (now I know why they record these conversations)!
”Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?”
”Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.”
”What sort of trouble?”
”Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.”
”Went away?”
”They disappeared.”
”Hmmm. So what does your screen look like now?”
”Nothing.”
”Nothing?”
”It’s a blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.”
”Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?”
”How do I tell?”
”Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?”
”What’s a sea-prompt?”
”Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?”
”There isn’t any cursor: I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.”
”Does your monitor have a power indicator?”
”What’s a monitor?”
”It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.”
”Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on?”
”I don’t know.”
”Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?”
”Yes, I think so.”
”Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.”
”Yes, it is.”
”When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?”
”No.”
”Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the! other cable.”
”Okay, here it is.”
”Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.”
”I can’t reach.”
”Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?”
”No.”
”Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?”
”Oh, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle - it’s because it’s dark.”
”Dark?”
”Yes, the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.”
”Well, turn on the office light then.”
”I can’t.”
”No? Why not?”
”Because there’s a power failure.”
”A power…………a power failure? Aha, Okay, we’ve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?”
”Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.”
”Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.”
”Really? Is it that bad?”
”Yes, I’m afraid it is.”
”Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?”
”Tell them you’re too fucking stupid to own a computer.”

Source: Jeffrey S. Stern


Leave a Reply


About Home Computer Talk

This site is for home computer users. Learn more about how to use your PC at home and ask questions. Any questions will be answered promptly.

Home Computer Talk Author(s)

Blogging Flair

Technology Channel Posts

  • Cell Phones + Social Networks = Love?
    [caption id="attachment_262" align="alignnone" width="128" caption="Social Networks"][/caption]Wireless industry ready to interface with Facebook, MySpace and Bebo Everybody at this week's Mobile [...]
  • LG X120 Netbook
    LG Electronics has announced it is launching their newest netbook called the LG X120. The laptop is a cute one with only 10.1″ screen with backlit. Powering it is an Intel Atom processor [...]
  • Uniea Haptique HardShell Case for MacBook
    This hardshell cases for the new MacBook aluminum are made of ABS plastic coupled with soft touch coating. It offers a textured feel, almost leather like, and protects the surface of the laptop [...]
  • Haier shows off it's offerings to the masses
    [caption id="attachment_1757" align="alignnone" width="600" caption="Haier netb ook, G1 and G2"][/caption]The fine folks over at Haier shows off mysterious "NetBooks," Android phones Haier's [...]
  • Hackers target Gamers
    [caption id="attachment_887" align="alignnone" width="128" caption="Xbox"][/caption]Although I'm not a gamer, everyone should be aware of hackers and malware. According to microsoft, What's the [...]
  • Microsoft Equips Individuals With New Training Resources Needed for Jobs
    [caption id="attachment_733" align="alignnone" width="109" caption="Microsoft"][/caption]Second time around for this bit of news, but very apropos in today's business climate. Microsoft Corp. [...]
  • LG Phone's Transparent Keypad Expected to "Make A New Fashion Statement"
    [caption id="attachment_259" align="alignnone" width="950" caption="Transluscent Phone"][/caption][caption id="attachment_258" align="alignnone" width="500" caption="LG GD-900"][/caption]Firmware or [...]
  • Preorder Nokia N86 at Expansys
    [caption id="attachment_1754" align="alignnone" width="162" caption="Nokia N86"][/caption]Engadget breaks this story: European markets can expect to see Nokia's N86 handset on or about July 22, [...]
  • Microsoft Tests Vista SP2, Readies Windows 7 Updates
    [caption id="attachment_884" align="alignnone" width="116" caption="Vista"][/caption]Lots coming out of Redmond these days. Service Pack 2 for Windows Vista and Windows Server 2008 is reportedly [...]
  • Five Steps to an E-friendly Résumé
    [caption id="attachment_730" align="alignnone" width="128" caption="Resume on Outlook"][/caption]With today's economy and layoffs, we all need all the help we can get when searching for jobs. MSN [...]

Hot Off The Press