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“Okay, try it now.”

I waited patiently for the words to come - the words I have heard countless times which never fail to inspire a smug little smirk on my face:

“How did you do that?”

Over time I have had many responses, most of which are nice and tame simply because it is not nice to brag or make someone feel any less intelligent than they truly are. The response I have gotten used to giving over the past year is:

“This stuff is my bread and butter.”

I’m not sure if it is just respect for those who know what we don’t know, but the title of computer programmer, or even website designer, has soared to high prestige. The very aura around the “computer nerds” of society, as they speak of strange things like “HTML code” and the advantages or disadvantages of Visual Basic glows in a strange sort of black light way that leaves us staring.

I by no means want to ridicule anyone who doesn’t know a PowerPoint layout from an Excel spreadsheet. Nor do I mean to insult anyone by assuming whoever is reading this doesn’t know what Visual Basic is. However, I find it harder and harder to deny there is just something about the computer savvy part of the population that is separate from “the rest of us”…

The truly computer knowledgeable people of our population are fine. However, I don’t want to talk about them; I want to talk about the “nerd poser.”

The nerd poser has meager expertise in the field of computers, programming, and basic programs and possibly has an expert level knowledge in one specific function or program. Even if he or she doesn’t, the poser is very likely to have a good vocabulary. Of course this isn’t always a learned and understood vocabulary. The poser can spout “big words” at you for over an hour and still maintain an expression that reeks of false intelligence and superiority.

The poser will often tell you about manipulating this code or tweaking with “that one thing.” Which, of course, they skip over “that thing” before you would think to take the time to ask what it is. Thus the poser remains in the position of knowledge.

I, being slightly poser, have often deliberately moved the conversation away from the fact that I only had to find the switch to turn the title bar on to make it appear. I have even talked about “manipulating code” simply to use big words to talk about finding the line of code I was looking for and simply deleting it.

The nerd poser, should you experience one fiddling around on your computer in person, seeks to act the part completely. He or she will click his or her tongue, hum, or do whatever “nerdesque” noises/movements he or she feels appropriate to convey the role the poser is trying to achieve.

The poser may even go so far as to wear glasses and make a habit of pushing them up his or her nose regardless or whether or not the glasses are necessary for proper sight.

So either through verbal, visual, or both, the poser will seek your awe and worship. The poser will seek to make you feel you have limited intelligence whether you actually do or not. Beware of posers and never let them (or even real the computer programmers, website designers, etc) make you feel down about whatever skills you feel you do or do not have.

While the computer literate portion of the population is to be given credit, do not be fooled by those who would seek praise just because they know how to turn on the elusive title bar.